$7,000 (continued)

I suppose I would have to learn the language of my forefathers/mothers. I did take a few classes back in college. But that was years ago...when I was still young. And I have since reverted to illiteracy and a restaurant speaking level. It isn't the easiest of tongues, viciously capricious at times - where the tiniest glossal slip can mean the difference between "map" and "vomit". I knew of an acquaintance's sister, a nonnative speaker in an intercultural marriage. She tried to learn the language to impress her mother-in-law, and then ended up calling her a horse.

Or is it really so necessary to have a common spoken language? Many animals communicate quite well through grunts, squeals, clicks, and chirps, including pigs, bunnies, horses, dolphins, and married humans. The documentary Cowboy del Amor comes to mind, which by the way I highly recommend (it's about a guy who arranges matches between American men [predominantly older, divorced, blue-collar] and Mexican women [often white-collar, doctors, lawyers]). Here's a quote from one of the successful couples: "We have a rule. She isn't gonna learn English. I'm not gonna learn Spanish. That way we can't fight."

Anyway, I guess I might as well brush up on the old language - where a mere friggin' fricative separates "marriage" from "freedom".